Weekend Recap

It was a bit of a whirlwind in the Scruffy Household.  I nodded off for a bit on Friday night and woke up to several messages wondering where I was for PVP.  It was a late night of PVP with the guildmates, then Timewalking on both the 110’s.  Mr. Scruffy had brought home some hard cider for me, so since there was drinking going on, there was indeed Drunk Scruffy Tanking.

Saturday I spent most of the morning/early afternoon working on the Chromie scenario.  So much time actually that my druid is now a Timelord and Homies with Chromie.  It’s a really fun scenario honestly, but I’ve already messed up her talents and set myself back a few days.  Depending on how kind the RNG is with the Sands of Time items drops, I can usually get 6 out of 8 scenes complete in there.  But it’s going to take a few more talents for me to successfully complete the whole thing.

We had another storm Saturday night.  High Winds.  Driving rain.  Even some hail.  Gotta love these summer storms.

Sunday was Father’s day.  We ended up taking my mom and dad out for pizza and beer, then spending the rest of the day playing guitar out at their house in the gazebo.  Really not a bad weekend.

Hope you had a fantastic weekend and a great start to the week!

Poetry Corner: Sell Yourself

Sell yourself

“She reminds me of you
But she sells it.”
That feels like an insult.
Should it?

What exactly are you trying to say?
It’s okay to be myself
If I do it for show?
Only to sell a business?
Or an idea?

Am I not able to express
Interest in my passions
Unless I’m getting paid?
Or is she faking her own interests
Just for a profit?

Is one of us right
And the other wrong?
Do you wish I was her?
Or her me?

Instead of leaving me with these never ending questions.
Or a desperate need to prove my worth
And justify my existence.

Old Rockers

Once upon a time I was in a local alternative/pop/punk band.  A lot of covers.  Some originals.  A lot of fun for us.

But we’re all older and had many things we wanted to do.  (School.  Work.  Moving away.)

4 1/2 years later, we find ourselves all back in the same state and our drummer puts together a Cancer Benefit for a friend who has Breast Cancer.  There’s two nights of music, auctions, raffles, entertainment, and beer.  He even pulled us out of our hiatus for a night.

Not the best quality, but you can check out a couple of the things we did over on YouTube.

Remembering Sunday by All Time Low

For the Win by We are the In Crowd

(Yeah, the video and sound aren’t that great.  One day, I will have an amazing camera to share fun stuff with you!)

Let’s Not Celebrate

I really hoped I’d have some awesome Cards Against Humanity pairs from the family to post up today.  It’s one of my favorite games, even though I’m struck with how terrible of a human being I can be.

Okay, maybe a not so right human being.  Someone with an odd sense of humor.

But it didn’t happen.  No one was interested in spending my birthday celebration this way or heck, even really staying for anything besides a quick lunch.

Yeah.

Can’t leave politics at the damn door for lunch and can’t spend an hour afterwards playing a game with the whole family because family doesn’t want to or leaves.

Cake was good though, so there’s that.

I should probably stop agreeing to a family birthday.  It’s fine for everyone else.  We all go out and do what they want.  But for me?  It just never ends well and I’m miserable most of the time either doing what everyone else wants me to do, or getting let down from the lack of interest in actually doing what I want to do.

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

Not a Party Girl

With my birthday coming up next week, the barrage of inquiries have started.  “What should we do for your big day?”  “Where are we eating?”  “What do you want?”  etc.

These quickly get replaced by “suggestions” of things to do, eat, etc.

And those quickly get replaced by massive amounts of exasperation over what I really want to do and my less than receptive acceptance of all the “suggestions” I’ve been given.

Sure, I bet that all sounds a little petty, but trying to make a big to-do over my birthday doesn’t really make me super excited or happy.  Because at the end of the day, when it’s all over, I’m usually sent on a guilt trip for doing anything at all.  And no matter what I pick, it isn’t really for me in the first place.

Getting a bunch of suggestions saying “We should go bowling for your birthday” or “Let’s play Mini Golf for you birthday!”  It sounds fun, but I know my dad has a bad back and always hurts after bowling.  Besides, if I go bowling, I want to do more than one game.  And no one wants to go into the arcade.  And after activities like these, it’s a lot of “That was so expensive.  Geez,” moments.

When it comes to dinner, it’s similar.  Let’s recommend all these fancy restaurants that cost a whole bunch that you would never go to in the first place, then complain about it afterwards if you do go.  I’m not really interested in the food at those places.  They’re all choices that others would rather go to and usually do frequent.  But if I suggest a place I’d like to go, I get chastised for it being a place I can always go to.  Isn’t that the point though?  It’s supposed to be my choice?  Regardless if I go there on my own?

Heck, even my choice of cake was ridiculed when I was asked what type of cake I’d like.  (Ice-cream cake over regular cake, because I don’t really like frosting, but chocolate with minimal frosting is good too.)

For the record, what I did decide to do this weekend has me pretty thrilled.  Cooking out with the family and playing Cards Against Humanity while having a few beers before band practice.

Give me great conversation, music, and fun at home rather than an extravagant outing any day.

The not so subtle

For the past six month, my reading list has been mostly reference and self help.  Pretty interesting jump from fantasy adventures that I grew up reading.

What I have noticed is the older I get, the easier I’m irritated over a variety of things.

  • Someone stops right in front of me and blocks my path when I can be seen actually trying to go somewhere. “Why yes, this is a water bottle in my hand.  Clearly I’m not attempting to refill it at the water cooler that you’re standing in front of and staring at me like I’m lost.”
  • People telling me to do try the things I’ve already listed off as having done to trouble shoot a problem. (“Have you turned it off and on yet?”)
  • People telling me how to have fun.
  • People telling me why I’m having fun.  (Think I know what I enjoy a  bit better than others here.)
  • People telling me how to react to things.
  • People telling me why I am doing or reacting a certain way, even though I’ve already expressed why I’m doing something or reacting a certain way.
  • Family showing up at my work for no real reason that usually ends with them telling me how unsuccessful and awful I am.
  • Family showing up at work to tell me where they peed.  (Long story.  Which is why it involved a place to pee apparently…)
  • Same people telling me that to quit the job I like and enjoy to do find a different job that they’d like better.
  • Constantly having my nose rubbed in to it that I can’t get pregnant.
  • Not getting pregnant.
  • Being in constant pain all the time.
  • Not being able to turn my neck at all.
  • Family stating my husband and I have to do certain things to be successful or worthy of their time/praise/what the hell ever, and constantly moving things higher and higher and never acknowledging we’ve met those goals.
  • Finding out the last 6 months you’ve spent trying desperately to get your friends to work together and through crap that they continually told you wasn’t a problem, because it wasn’t a problem for them at the time is now finally a problem for them and they wished someone would have pointed it out or helped them with it.  Basically, my last six months was a waste there or never happened.

Can you tell I’ve been a little overwhelmed, probably for the last few months?

That’s built up to where now everything pisses me off and puts me in the growly, grumpy bear mood.  Even my dog doing normal doggo things like wanting to go outside is driving me up the wall.

There are things out there that you shouldn’t give a rip about and then there are bigger things that you should.  My brain reacts to everything as if they’re big things, which they’re not, but it processes them and the feelings involved react like they’re big things.

And I don’t want to feel like everything worries me, makes me mad, etc.  I am fully aware that getting stressed out or pissed off about half the stuff on the above list is just ridiculous and stupid.  But getting my brain to believe it is another story.

It’s still irritating as hell though.  Seriously.

Hence the reading of the Subtle Art of Giving a F*ck.  Perhaps I might be able to learn to tone that down a bit in there and eventually stop getting to this point where everything pisses me off so much.

So to those I’ve been short with these last two weeks, I’m sorry, but could you just lay off a bit?  I’m not in the mood for the jokes at my expense.  The put downs.  Etc.  Because I’m trying really hard to keep it all together over here.  I’m already trying to double check everything I say and do so I don’t stumble and undo the tiny progress I’ve made.  I’ll come back around eventually.

Cats and Kettle Bells

Clingy SiriusPart two of the weekend recap!

We all know this handsome little devil.  He likes to crash my gaming streams by conking out on me.  Enjoys making Winter the Raid Dog cry more than he already does, it’s overly friendly and feisty all at once.

Sirius.  Who has no concept of personal space what so ever.

 

The good news is I did not accidentally kill him this weekend.

The bad news is I still beaned my cat in the head with a 15 pound kettle bell.

Now before the hateful comments start pouring in, he is fine!  Promise.  I waited a few days to say anything about it to be sure that he’s just fine.  No it wasn’t on purpose and it scared the hell out of me when it happened.

I decided Sunday to try out that yoga and kettle bell workout I shared with you yesterday.  Grabbed my kettle bell, started my Fitbit, and got to work.

Well, on the second round, Sirius decided he wanted to be super close and apparently got between my legs while I was working on those swings.  Next thing I know, there’s a thunk, and he is tearing out of the living room.

Technically, I don’t know where he got hit on that downswing, but it felt like it was his head.

No, I did not finish the workout.  I was too freaked out about possibly killing my cat.  It took 20 minutes to coax him out from under the bed, but after about an hour, he was back to his normal self: Terrorizing the dog, playing with anything he could get his paws on, and sacking out in my hoodie.

Here’s hoping he learned his lesson about personal space during workouts.