Poetry Corner: An Important WIP

Disclaimer: This might be a heavier read than what I usually post on Fridays.  Sorry about that, but I felt some lyrics that have been in my head lately needed a bit of an explanation as to why I’m posting them now, and not waiting until I’ve written all of it.

I’ve been trying to accurately put my feelings in to words about the struggles of depression.  For me, there are some days that are great and amazing and I can conquer anything that life throws at me.  But the next day, getting out of bed feels like I’m staring down a Mythic Level Raid boss wearing broken armor with no mana and no weapons any where in sight to equip.  Like every step I take feels like I’m slowly drowning and sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean.  

And the worse part is never knowing which day it’s going to be when you open your eyes each morning.

Since the fight is different for everyone, it’s been a little difficult for me to express.  It’s a matter that requires more thought and tact than what I want to scream to the world most days.  Which really boils down to “It sucks it sucks it sucks, oh god why does this suck so badly?”

But the last month has been so tough for so many close to our family here.  Friends of friends leaving them too soon.  Even this week, my friend’s wife/partner felt she couldn’t outrun her demons and we’re left asking those questions of “Why?” “How?”  And of course blaming ourselves for not have noticing like we should have.

I’ve said it countless times on Twitter and I will keep saying it, because sometimes even I need to hear it aloud to remind me to keep fighting.  There is hope.  Things can and will get better.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, because there are so many people that want you to win that fight against whatever nightmares you’re facing.  You matter.  So please…stay here.

With that out there…I’ve been working on Lyrics again and this has been floating around in my head for awhile now.  My initial thought process was thinking about my point of view on those rough days where some times, I have to keep telling myself to get through this moment, through this day.  Just do this one thing before you begin to think about the next.  That was what I was thinking about when I wrote this chorus.  

There is more that I want to tell when I finish it, but for now, I just wanted to share it with you.  Hopefully, I’ll finish it soon and be able to share the full thing.

One more Day

Chorus:
“One more day,” she whispers
“Just one more day.”
So softly that what once was a war cry
Sounds more like a prayer.
She’s tired and broken
And feels like she’s slowly losing the fight
“One more day” she tells herself,
“Just one more day.”

Poetry Corner: Sell Yourself

Sell yourself

“She reminds me of you
But she sells it.”
That feels like an insult.
Should it?

What exactly are you trying to say?
It’s okay to be myself
If I do it for show?
Only to sell a business?
Or an idea?

Am I not able to express
Interest in my passions
Unless I’m getting paid?
Or is she faking her own interests
Just for a profit?

Is one of us right
And the other wrong?
Do you wish I was her?
Or her me?

Instead of leaving me with these never ending questions.
Or a desperate need to prove my worth
And justify my existence.

Poetry Corner: Size Difference

Size Difference

I’m a few sizes too big?
Maybe she’s a few sizes too small.
Or Maybe there is a better way to judge a woman’s worth.

By her mettle.
By her character.
By her heart.

Instead of putting us all against each other’s waist size.

It’s uncanny to think I’m less of a person
Because I’m a little bit more.