Poetry Corner: An Important WIP

Disclaimer: This might be a heavier read than what I usually post on Fridays.  Sorry about that, but I felt some lyrics that have been in my head lately needed a bit of an explanation as to why I’m posting them now, and not waiting until I’ve written all of it.

I’ve been trying to accurately put my feelings in to words about the struggles of depression.  For me, there are some days that are great and amazing and I can conquer anything that life throws at me.  But the next day, getting out of bed feels like I’m staring down a Mythic Level Raid boss wearing broken armor with no mana and no weapons any where in sight to equip.  Like every step I take feels like I’m slowly drowning and sinking deeper and deeper into the ocean.  

And the worse part is never knowing which day it’s going to be when you open your eyes each morning.

Since the fight is different for everyone, it’s been a little difficult for me to express.  It’s a matter that requires more thought and tact than what I want to scream to the world most days.  Which really boils down to “It sucks it sucks it sucks, oh god why does this suck so badly?”

But the last month has been so tough for so many close to our family here.  Friends of friends leaving them too soon.  Even this week, my friend’s wife/partner felt she couldn’t outrun her demons and we’re left asking those questions of “Why?” “How?”  And of course blaming ourselves for not have noticing like we should have.

I’ve said it countless times on Twitter and I will keep saying it, because sometimes even I need to hear it aloud to remind me to keep fighting.  There is hope.  Things can and will get better.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, because there are so many people that want you to win that fight against whatever nightmares you’re facing.  You matter.  So please…stay here.

With that out there…I’ve been working on Lyrics again and this has been floating around in my head for awhile now.  My initial thought process was thinking about my point of view on those rough days where some times, I have to keep telling myself to get through this moment, through this day.  Just do this one thing before you begin to think about the next.  That was what I was thinking about when I wrote this chorus.  

There is more that I want to tell when I finish it, but for now, I just wanted to share it with you.  Hopefully, I’ll finish it soon and be able to share the full thing.

One more Day

Chorus:
“One more day,” she whispers
“Just one more day.”
So softly that what once was a war cry
Sounds more like a prayer.
She’s tired and broken
And feels like she’s slowly losing the fight
“One more day” she tells herself,
“Just one more day.”

New Adventures

Who’s ready for Tomb of Sargeras?

Warcraftier will be making our first foray into the raid tonight.  We’ll be starting with Normal.  If we plow through it, we’ll jump to Heroic with what time we have left and focus on that the rest of the week.

Want to see how we do?  Be sure to join us tonight, 7pm CST.  I’ll be streaming from my Point of View over on my Twitch Channel.  Expect lots of screaming and Starfalls.  Or something.

Hope to see you there!

Weekend Recap

It was a bit of a whirlwind in the Scruffy Household.  I nodded off for a bit on Friday night and woke up to several messages wondering where I was for PVP.  It was a late night of PVP with the guildmates, then Timewalking on both the 110’s.  Mr. Scruffy had brought home some hard cider for me, so since there was drinking going on, there was indeed Drunk Scruffy Tanking.

Saturday I spent most of the morning/early afternoon working on the Chromie scenario.  So much time actually that my druid is now a Timelord and Homies with Chromie.  It’s a really fun scenario honestly, but I’ve already messed up her talents and set myself back a few days.  Depending on how kind the RNG is with the Sands of Time items drops, I can usually get 6 out of 8 scenes complete in there.  But it’s going to take a few more talents for me to successfully complete the whole thing.

We had another storm Saturday night.  High Winds.  Driving rain.  Even some hail.  Gotta love these summer storms.

Sunday was Father’s day.  We ended up taking my mom and dad out for pizza and beer, then spending the rest of the day playing guitar out at their house in the gazebo.  Really not a bad weekend.

Hope you had a fantastic weekend and a great start to the week!

The day I called my raid leader ugly

Jargon.  A noun.  Meaning: the technical terminology or characteristic idiom of a special activity or group sports jargon

I usually think about jargon when it comes to tech.  Most things that people who are really good with computers and such say goes right over my head.

No matter your profession though, we all have some type of Jargon we’re versed in.

Talking about the stations I listen to and have worked for over the years, when it comes to their actual formats and programming, I lose my parents when I start spouting off CHR, AC, Hot AC, etc.  They can’t follow that.  But since I’ve been around it for 12+ years, it’s second nature to me.

And it gets me in trouble.

If you didn’t catch it on stream, or here, I’m a voice artist.  I talk for a living.  A lot.  And I work a bit in radio.  Hence the format jargon above.

And this wonderful little gem from the other day.

Our raid leader, Co-GM of Warcraftier, and also fellow streamer Serickson/Serbear finally got a webcam!  Since he knows about what I do out of game (see the above) he had me check out his stream a bit to work on some of the audio levels.

I gave him some advice.  Told him to ditch the webcam mic.  And we checked back a couple days later to see where the levels were while using a different mic.  Was the balance there with the music in the background, Discord, his mic, etc.

And me…firmly situated in my audio nerd zone pops back on my mic, telling him how much better it sounds.  It all sounds great, but he could stand to be hotter.

To which Discord goes silent.

Yeah.

In my audio nerd zone, of course I’m talking about his Microphone.  The levels need to be higher for his voice to be on the same level as Discord voices.  Hotter in this case is referring to the sensitivity of the microphone.

But they don’t know that.

Very seriously I was asked if I was telling Ser that he’s ugly.

And now we have a mortified Druid.

He was a pretty good sport about it.  Still funny though.  And mortifying.  But funny.

Poetry Corner: Sell Yourself

Sell yourself

“She reminds me of you
But she sells it.”
That feels like an insult.
Should it?

What exactly are you trying to say?
It’s okay to be myself
If I do it for show?
Only to sell a business?
Or an idea?

Am I not able to express
Interest in my passions
Unless I’m getting paid?
Or is she faking her own interests
Just for a profit?

Is one of us right
And the other wrong?
Do you wish I was her?
Or her me?

Instead of leaving me with these never ending questions.
Or a desperate need to prove my worth
And justify my existence.

Roles and Lore

And then suddenly the influx of druids we had are now….

 

WoWScrnShot_060417_134141

… hunters?  What the?

Not really sure what’s going on now.  Not sure if all druids decided to switch or not, but Tuesday’s raid only had one druid in it…Serbear.  As a boomie.  Not a bear.  The heck?

Awesome news, I’ll be joining fellow GirlStreamer emixpemix on her stream as a guest on Saturday.  You might recognize her from hanging out in chat during my midday stream.  She’s across the pond and on Saturdays, usually right after my stream, she’s streaming and talking about the Warcraft lore.

The story is a big part of what hooked me to World of Warcraft in the first place and I used to be well versed in it.  I’m a tad rusty, but I’m really looking forward to this stream.  I’ll admit that this weekend’s topic, The War of the Ancients, isn’t one that I know a great deal about, but I’ve noticed, there’s a lot of current Legion content that deals with that event.  (Have you caught it?)

I hope you’ll join us!  3pm CST (10pm Em’s time!) on emixpemix’s channel.